by Adam Alexander
Yesterday was a sad day for me. I am always a “half full” kind of guy, an ever optimist! I refuse to let things bring me down. I try to be the best me and when bad things happen I address the issue at hand but still try to find the positive. However yesterday, I just got very, very sad.
You see, I had to take the Christmas lights down yesterday. On the surface, that’s not all that sad. Sure, saying good bye to the holidays is sad, but the memories that were made makes me smile as I do it (I told you I find the good anywhere)! Of course, taking them down in January and recalling the holiday memories isn’t as fun as putting them up in November with all the anticipation of what’s to come, but yesterday was just different. You see, as I took the lights down, I got a notification from On This Day and there were pictures of years past, my kids out there helping me.
I am sad to get old, I guess. Not because I can’t remember all my passwords or because I make a lot of noise when I get out of bed, the sound of wood crackling in the fire. I am sad because the time that we get to parent is just going faster then I ever expected it to. My kids are 9 and 12 and both have birthday’s in July. I know, they are still kids, I have lots of time, but I can see it slowly happening. They don’t hang on every word I say anymore. They don’t ask me a million questions anymore and they don’t want to spend time outside taking down the Christmas lights with me.
I am proud to say I am a great Dad. I am. It is the one thing I swore that I would not screw up. As far as I know, I haven’t. I am present, I know my kids and I have given them a much better childhood than I ever had. That was always the goal. I am an OK friend, a fairly good employee, a “needs improvement” husband and a mediocre actor. But I am a GREAT Dad. So, my sadness is thinking about them being gone, off to live their own life, which they will… all too soon.
I guess, all I can do is cherish the minutes, the moments, the family time and then look back and wish I had done it better. I guess that is what life is? Wish I had a happy button to this story but I don’t. I am just sad.