I came across something interesting on Redbook, and although I wasn’t looking for any advice, it became an enlightening read. Of course, it’s not something we regularly think of, but when we do say the things we say in heated moments, we feel they’re wrong and most of the times we regret.
- Divorce – Among words you can never take back, this plants the seed in your spouses head and doubt.
- Always or Never – These words are rarely true, and normally just said out of anger. For example ‘you always choose your friends over me’ or ‘you never offer to cook dinner.’, better to encourage and suggest instead.
- You’re Not My Mom– This one made me wonder a bit…But it happens when a partner is being too nurturing or controlling.
- Shut Up – I definitely don’t condone this whatsoever. Enough said.
- You’re An Idiot – As a spouse, you should only encourage and better your partner, not belittle them. However, I have said this playfully before during dumb jokes.
- You’re Pathetic – Same as the one before. Don’t label your partner, or they’ll get defensive. Maybe suggest other ways they can do or say things if you’re not happy with how they do it to begin with.
- You Have To Do This – No one likes being told what to do, if you’re splitting up responsibilities, they would and should be known.
- You’re Such A Failure – This would definitely hurt you, so you wouldn’t want to say it to someone else that you love.
- I wish I never Got With You – Putting doubt into your relationship is the worst thing you can do, then you’ll wonder why the other acts different or certain ways.
- You Never Take Me Out Anymore – People get busy, life happens. The important thing is to make time. Address the problem in a different way, chances are you’re being taken out, just not as often since dating phase is over.
- Don’t Take This The Wrong Way, But – if you have to say the ‘but’ then you know you should be saying it in a different way. Consider your partners feelings, you know them. Blunt honesty can sometimes backfire.
- Your Mother Is So – Leave other family members out of the relationship. This is a foundation you’re building. Bringing up step children and in laws will cause a whole other big mess.
- You Don’t Care About Me – To me that’s a cry for attention. Your partner is with you because they care about you. Redbook states ‘Speak about your feelings in a non-threatening way, by focusing solely on your own experience in a conflict, not in your partner’s behavior.’
- Calm Down -It’s a habit we have , of saying this. But when we’re in a heated argument, its definitely condescending.
- You’ve Gained Weight – C’mon… we all know not to touch this one…right?
- Sorry, But – …that basically means you’re NOT.
- What Did I Do Now? – It’ll make you feel dismissive, and that you’re always wrong in your relationship. Maybe your partner is tying to address a problem but doesn’t want to feel like they’re always nagging.
- You’re Wrong To Be Angry – There are obviously reasons that people are angry, be open to listening and remember that you’d want the same consideration. The things others may be mad about, you may not be.
- You Don’t Turn Me On Anymore – At this point if you say that, assume it’s over. In my opinion. There are better ways to suggest spicing up your love life if you plan to continue your relationship.
These are horrible?! Who can even say some of these things?! I’m a bit blown away honestly….