Photo by Adam Alexander

Some Of My Thoughts On New Years Resolutions And Plans For 2019

From The Morning MIX's Adam Alexander

January 5, 2019

I spend most of my down time wishing to "go back to then".  As I get older and older, I realize that setting goals isn't very good for me.  I set myself up for failure.  I have set goals, many of them and accomplished most of what I have set out to do but at the end of it, I don't find it all that rewarding.  For me, "It's all a lot of oysters but no pearls" to use a quote from Counting Crows.   Let me explain.

10 years ago I was 5 days away from running the Disney Marathon.  I had never run a marathon in my life and I trained earnestly.   I had a goal to finish in under 4 hours.  Looking back, that was insane!  I did finish and my time was 4 hours 2 minutes and 56 seconds.  I finished the marathon but the added goal of the time led me to feel like I failed.  An oyster not a pearl.  I have only run one other marathon which was in 2011.

 

Today, I ran 3.5 miles.  So far, I have won the day.  But setting a goal to do a certain amount of miles in a certain week or month, well that just won't work for me.  I have to just make sure I lace up and get out when I can.  That has to be "good enough" for me.  

I have been a professional actor since I was 12 years old, which means I received money to act on the stage or television and movies since then, off and on of course but I have done well over the years.  I had a goal to be a series regular on a TV show.  I have been "recurring" on 2 shows (which means that you are under no contract as a "regular" are in multiple episodes and intricate to the plot and story-line.  You have no guarantee and you don't get the big trailer that the series regulars get nor do you get the best hotel or first class flights and on and on.  Again, an oyster.  I should just be happy to be on a TV show!  Goal STILL not accomplished.

 

So, I look at the year ahead and hear about people making proclamations of "Dry January" and "5k A Day" and such and I just can't do it.  My head will find away to tell myself that I failed even if I do what I said I was going to do.  For me this year, I just want to go a little slower through life and enjoy the moments.  I look at my life and it is just going by too damn fast.  I have an amazing wife, she's my fuel and my batteries.  My kids are already 10 and 13, how did that happen?!  To quote Counting Crows one more time, "I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass" and I really, really feel like I have but I look at pictures and all I want to do it go back to then.  For me this year, I just want to be genuinely happy... And that might be the hardest goal to fail at of them all.