If Everything Seems Heavy Right Now, You're Not Alone

This year has proven to be quite possibly the hardest year yet for so many people.

July 17, 2020

2020 has been a year full of headline after headline. 

Some good, some not so good, and some just simply horrible.

Between the loss of a NBA great, to massive fires in Australia, to a worldwide pandemic seemingly bringing the entire world to a halt, you may have found yourself falling deeper and deeper into a not so great headspace.

Trust me, I know all about this.

At the end of last year, I lost my brother-in-law Maury. It was arguably one of the hardest things my family had ever been through.

To lose someone who constantly made you laugh just seemed like a cruel joke but alas, it happened and my family was left stunned that in an instant, our world was turned upside down.

Heading into the new year, I thought 2020 would be a chance for a fresh start. I'd get some much needed rest over the holiday time and emerge stronger and better than before.

That simply wasn't the case. 

Week after week, day after day, bad news and negative headlines, and social unrest, and a plague just kept coming and coming.

I tried to make sense of everything happening all at once, but I simply couldn't. 

"Why," I kept asking. "Why?"

Working from home since the end of March seemed like a dream come true at first. 

No one checking up on me, no loud coworkers, I could do my job in peace and work on my own timeline.

I quickly realized that so much isolation isn't good for your mental health.

I recently noticed I lacked the energy to do things I used to enjoy. 

My workouts suffered. I lacked interest when it came to running. I found myself changing the channel when soccer games came on. Why the sudden lack of motivation and interest?

Simple. I'm feeling depressed.

Now there is quite a bit more going on behind the scenes than just social isolation that has led me to this, however I cannot get into that at the moment. Things have occured in my life that I'm not ready to discusss, or I simply can't right now. Just know, things have seemed out of control lately and I've lost the ability to reign it in.

I've been getting a lot of signs lately from the universe telling me to trust my insticts, to take control of my life, to choose to be happy. 

Everytime I found myself feeling down and out, there would be an advertisement, video, or quote that would speak directly to me about what I was feeling.

I really never thought I would be in this position to view "messages from the universe" as a wakeup call, but in fact that's what I've had. 

I've woken up to the fact that I am in control of my life. I'm letting myself feel this way. I'm letting my negativity control my normally happy and bubbly self.

A few rotten apples shouldn't spoil my entire harvest. 

I need to sort my life, get rid of the things that no longer make me happy, and move on.

It's really difficult to admit that to myself because I'm not very good with change, but maybe that's what I need. Change. Something new? Something fresh.

Who knows what the next few months, years, or decades will bring me.

All I know is, for the past few months I've been in a place of insincerity with you and that is not fair.

So from this day forward, I WILL accept that my life is not perfect. Our world is in a growing phase right now, and there's not much I can do about society.

However, I can do something about myself and how I feel. 

So moving forward, I will only worry about what I can do and or change. I will only worry about myself and my responses to things around me. 

I owe it to myself after disregarding every red flag over the past few months.

Your mental health is vital to your overall health. 

So check in from time to time. You may just find you need to take some of the medicine you've been giving out.