Checking Back In On My Mental Health

After coming clean about my mental state, I feel I should check in.

December 9, 2019
CJ Robinson

About a month ago I wrote a blog post where I came clean about my mental health.

I told you that I just simply wasn't okay and the amount of support and comforting messages I recieved was overwhelming. 

Well, I thought I owed you a check-in (really it forces me to check-in with my self and truly see how I'm coping with life,) and I can honestly say, I'm in a much better place.

About a month ago my entire world came crashing down when I lost my brother-in-law the same day I put an offer in on a house and began the process of that, while juggling 2 careers, finances, and just life in general.

I reached a point where I just simply had to start saying "no" and "I can't get to that right now." 

I turned down invitations to spend time with dear friends and I even flaked on some family functions which is VERY unlike me. 

In the time since, I moved into my house, I've been spending more time with my family, I changed my diet (okay not completely, but getting better) and I got back to my usual workout routine which has done WONDERS for my stress levels.

I truly feel back to myself in some instances of my life but there are still parts where I wonder if I'll ever recover.

It's really hard to even explain those parts because it doesn't involve any one person or thing in particular. It's more of a "life" or "general purposes" category if I had to label it.

You see I always try and look on the positive side of life. When something horrible happens, I always try and reason with why it happened. I've realized in the past few years by losing loved ones far too soon, that sometimes there isn't a "positive side" or an "upside." 

Sometimes, it just is what it is and it sucks and there isn't anything that can be done. 

I knew a month ago when I came clean about not being "okay" for the first time in my life, that I would get back to myself and I'd feel like I always did which is generally very happy. 

It just goes to show that sometimes when life seems incredibly dark and difficult that if you stand strong during the tough times, easier more enjoyable times are ahead. 

Dolly Parton once said, "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." So guess who bought an umbrella?

Thanks for reading my thoughts and making it this far. It truly means the world knowing that people who only know me on the radio care enough to listen and read what I have to say.